Wednesday, December 3, 2014

News Weird: November 2014

Metro: Man fakes being in a coma for two years
Asswipe Alan Knight conned his elderly neighbor out of £40,000. For two years he was able to avoid going to court by having his family claim that an accident had left him in a quadriplegic state and that, at various times, seizures would cause him to fall into a coma.

But it seems the whole thing was a scam as the dipshit was caught on CCTV walking around shopping at a various Tesco stores.

Det Con Paul Harry, from South Wales Police, said: ‘In my entire career this is the most calculated, long-term deception of a vulnerable, elderly neighbour I have ever seen.’

IFL Science: Seals Caught Having Sex With Penguins
It was recently reported in IFL Science that a group of scientist have witnessed multiple incidents of fur seals trying to have sex with king penguins.

Vancouverdesi: Live fish removed from man’s intestines
A Brazilian man underwent surgery at the University Hospital in Londrina to remove a long Lungfish from his intestines. The man apparently decided to put the fish up his rear as part of a sexual fantasy but was unable to remove it after it had wriggled its way up his intestines. 

Warning, it's a little graphic

Observer:Russian Lawmaker Proposes Mailing Putin Sperm to Impregnate Russian Women
Yelena Borisovna Mizoulina - the Chairwoman of Parliamentary Commission on Women’s Affairs, Children and Family - allegedly introduced a bill that would provide Russian woman access to Vladimir Putin's sperm.  “The essence of my proposition is simple. Each female citizen of Russia will be able to receive by mail the genetic material of the President, get pregnant from him and have a baby. These mothers will be receiving special allowances from the government.”

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